21 weeks, 2 days

Let's talk Fibroids.

On Monday at my most recent appointment we got the results back from my big anatomy scan.  The good news?  Muppet is as healthy as can be diagnostically determined!  Everything appears to be in the right number, right location, and working as it should be.  Muppet is right on track in terms of length and weight.

BUT (as you may have guessed from the first sentence) the ultrasound revealed that Muppet isn't the only thing growing in my uterus.  The scan revealed that I have two fibroids on the lower right of my uterus.  This wasn't incredibly surprising or distressing to me.  My mom had issues with fibroids when I was younger, so it made sense to me that they may be an issue for me also.

Depending on what source you look at, between 25% and 75% of all women of child bearing age have fibroids.  Most go undetected because they're symptomless (like mine).  In fact, if I never had an ultrasound, I may have gone my entire life without even knowing.  And there's absolutely no telling how long they've been there.

So what's a fibroid and what does it mean? If you start doing research you'll note that a lot of descriptions of a fibroid is a "benign tumor" which sounds scarier than it really it. A tumor is just when tissue grows in a place it doesn't usually grow.  A fibroid is basically when muscle cells grow where they shouldn't.  Uterine fibroids are when those muscle cells are in/attached to the uterus.

The location of the fibroids plays a large role in both symptoms and potential pregnancy complications.  There are three main types of fibroids, illustrated below:

 The Intramural Fibroids are the most common, forming within the uterine wall.  Depending on their size, they can cause heavy menstrual bleeding and/or pelvic pain.

The Submucosal Fibroids seem to be the most complicating from what I can gather - because they form on the inside of the uterus, they can interfere with implantation and potentially, based on size and location, may lead to an increased risk of preterm labor or miscarriage. Like the Intramural, heavy menstrual bleeding and pelvic pain are also associated with this variety of fibroid.

I've got the Subserosal variety.  This one forms on the outside of the uterus wall.  Because it's on the outside, the main issue here is pelvic pain.  However, if the fibroid is too close to the cervix, it can make vaginal delivery impossible.  It looks like both of mine are high enough where my doctor isn't concerned this will be a problem.

In general, most doctors do not do anything to treat/remove fibroids during pregnancy - more trouble than it's worth.  Although one of mine is on the larger side, it's still too small to "worry about" even if I wasn't pregnant.  According to the Mayo Clinic, most fibroids remain stable in size throughout pregnancy.   My instructions were just to contact my doctor if I started developing pain on my lower right side, where the fibroids are.  And if so, we'll do another ultrasound to do a checksee on what's going on in there.

I'm not trying to downplay fibroids in general - in my mom's case, they were very painful and reoccurring, requiring surgery.  However, I also know the sound of a foreign growth in your body can be a VERY scary concept, and sometimes it's easy to let your imagination run away with you.  So until I start experiencing some complications or pain, I'm not going to worry about the little friends that are keeping Muppet company in there.  Hey - everyone needs friends. 

Total weight gain/loss: +9

Next Appointment: Tuesday, June 21
Maternity clothes? On Saturday I wore my very first maternity outfit - maternity jeans and a maternity shirt.  On Monday I wore all pre-pregnancy clothes.  I can still get away with most of my pre-pregnancy bottoms, it's just the tops that are getting a little short.  So I'm working maternity clothes in little by little. I'm probably going to have a complete GAP Maternity wardrobe by the end of the pregnancy, since I can get most of the clothes I wore pre-pregnancy in maternity wear (like their favorite tees which I live in.)  We're going someplace cold for the weekend, and in packing tonight I realized that pretty much all my sweatshirts and jackets close VERY tightly. Thank goodness for a summer pregnancy!
Stretch marks: nada.
Sleep: It's been okay this weekend at night, still waking up with the sun.
Best moment this week: Hearing Muppet's heartbeat at the doctor this week.  I honestly thought it was mine because it was so loud and strong!  And obviously hearing that everything about Muppet appears to be healthy.
Movement: Fairly regularly.  I told the doctor about what I thought were kicks...and my mom...and my friend L and all of them think I'm crazy.  To me, it feels like my stomach is dropping.  A quick, sudden, jerk.  J thinks it's the baby rolling over, which makes sense, because it does kind of feel like a roll - or a somersault.  Or like a giant bubble expanding and then popping.
Food cravings: Nothing

Food aversions: Nothing
Gender: Tell you in October!
Belly Button in or out: in - but getting shallower.  J thinks my belly button right now is "so cute."
What I miss: After packing tonight I've got to say having a sweatshirt I can wear with clothing underneath it!

What I am looking forward to: Kicks (ones that other people recognize as kicks)

Contractions: Nope. 
Milestones:
- wearing maternity clothes

20 weeks, 2 days

I'm at a very awkward age.  I'm too young to be Generation X, and too old to be Generation Y.  But I can tell you one thing about my generation gap - if the 80s were the Me Generation, my generation should be called the NOW Generation.  If there's one thing I've noticed about pregnancy is that it brings out a ridiculous amount of impatience, which I just don't understand.  Let's start at the beginning.

1) The pregnancy test.  Back in the old days, women actually waited until missed periods before worrying about whether they were pregnant or not.  And then came at home pregnancy tests.  Yay!  Fast results that don't require a blood test or cutting open a rabbit to check out the color of the ovaries.  You would think this would all be well and good, right?  Except it's not.  The complaint then became "but I want to know SOONER" and so more and more tests were developed that were more and more sensitive.  Women are now able to find out if they're pregnant over a week before a missed period.  Which leads to ridiculousness like testing every day between sex and a positive result.  Or finding out so early that women are now ever so aware of what a "chemical pregnancy" is.  A concept that most women didn't understand before these early tests, because most women didn't even know they were pregnant when they had a chemical pregnancy.

2) Maternity Clothes. I swear that the minute some people become pregnant they run out and purchase an entire closet full of maternity clothes. And I’m talking about pregnancy week 6 or 7, you know, when you’re actually about 2 minutes pregnant.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I know that everyone starts showing at different times, second (third and fourth) timers start showing earlier than first time moms, and women who undergo fertility treatments usually have a bit of bloat carried over from before pregnancy.  But even now at my wise old age of 20 weeks, I can pretty much tell you that the clothes that were oh so comfy at 9 weeks probably aren’t going to be quite as comfortable around 29 weeks. So why the rush to jump into maternity wear?  It certainly can’t be because maternity wear is so gosh darn cute.  It’s not.  I’m not a skinny minny to begin with, maternity clothes leave me feeling like perhaps maternity clothes lines double as circus tent material.  The colors are all off and hang off your body like unflattering pillowcase.  (As opposed to flattering pillowcases, which lord knows you just can’t get enough of.)  But I think there’s a part of my generation that thinks – I’m pregnant.  I need maternity clothes NOW.  And then a couple weeks later (evil genius laugh) I’ll just buy MORE!

3) Appointments and the elective ultrasound. Ahhh the burden of technology.  Now that we have it, let’s use it.  Right?  Back when our mothers were having babies they went in when the doctor told them and were lucky to get an ultrasound at some point in their pregnancy.  When I called my doctor to set up my first prenatal appointment I was told the doctor would see me between weeks 8 and 10.  The appointment setter told me the doctor liked to wait that long because there would actually be something to see on the ultrasound and we would be pretty certain to hear a heartbeat by that time.  Makes sense to me.  And then I started seeing all sorts of women complaining that the doctor wouldn’t see them immediately upon discovering they were pregnant (Now! Now! Now!).  Listen ladies, if the doctor doesn’t want to see you immediately, there’s probably a good reason for it.  Like maybe you’re not that high risk?  Maybe there’s nothing to really see?  Maybe, just maybe, like a handful of women who were seen early, you’ll flip out when there’s no heartbeat (because it’s too early) or the baby is measuring really small (because you’re too early.)  Yes, that means you may spend an extra week or two worrying about what’s going on in there, but that’s going to happen anyway if you don’t get to see exactly what you’re expecting.

And of course, there’s the ultrasound.  A diagnostic tool used by professionals to determine the health and wellbeing of a baby.  Not all that different from an x-ray or MRI.  Of course there’s an added benefit of being able to see your very own little monkey moving and grooving in there.  And I am a HUGE fan of getting to see Muppet – especially since 99.9% of the time I have to remind myself I’m pregnant.  But really, ultrasound demand has gotten out of hand.  Between the “fake” visits to the ER just to see the baby again, and using an NT scan for the sole reason of getting in an additional ultrasound, I just feel like maybe women can wait and have a little trust that things are going okay.  You are going to have years of staring at the face of your child.  What’s a couple weeks going to hurt?

4) Mother's Day. And speaking of years of staring at the face of your child, I was beyond shocked to discover that women pregnant with their first child were demanding Mother’s Day presents NOW.  Some women proclaim with glee that they are a mother the instant that sperm hits the egg.  But really?  Other than giving up your favorite alcoholic beverage what have you really done that makes you a mother? Ohhh you’re growing and nurturing something inside you?  So does that mean every time you get the flu you’re also considered a mother?  Because in that case you’re growing and nurturing a virus.  And since they replicate so quickly, you’re probably a grandmother too!  I just don’t understand the need for recognition NOW. Next year, when there’s a real live “outside baby” that you have to feed and clothes in addition to feeding and clothing yourself, when you’re getting up all night for feedings, when you’re covered in vomit and bodily excrement, then we can talk about Mother’s Day.  And you know what, you’ll probably get recognition every year after that too!  Woot woot!

5) Finding Out the Sex. This concept is actually what spurred this diatribe in the first place. Last week, we had our “big ultrasound.”  Also referred to as the anatomy scan, this is where they go over every inch of the baby to make sure everything is functioning as it should be.  All four chambers of the heart are pumping, brain looks good, 2 kidneys present and working, etc. etc. etc.  Because they’re going over every inch, this is also often the time when many parents find out the sex of their child.  Which we chose not to do.  And the thing is – that gets people REALLY upset.  When people tell me they're finding out the sex of their child I say something like "how exciting!"  But when we tell people we're not finding out, they seem to take it ever so personally.  I’ve had people ask if they can call the doctor and find out for themselves.  J’s office has been giving him a hard time for weeks.  Really, what’s the big deal?  We're more than happy to wait - it's what people have been doing for years. Why do you have to know NOW?  At this point, the only thing I really care about is that Muppet is growing and healthy, not whether I need to go buy a baseball bat or a tu-tu.  (Although to be fair, even if we have a girl I have a feeling we may need a baseball bat by the time she’s a teenager to keep the teenage boys in line.)  The comment I get most is “Oh I could never do that – I’m a planner.”  Which doesn’t make any sense to me.  What can’t you plan?  Our parents didn’t know our sex, because finding out sex is a relatively recent development.  And yet I’d be willing to bet everyone still had plenty of clothes to wear, and baby equipment to take care of them.  J and I plan on having the baby sleep in his/her own room from night one, which also makes us “weird” but further emphasizes the point that if your baby is sleeping in your bedroom when you first get home, then you don’t even really need the nursery to be perfectly decorated before you leave for the hospital.  Newborns don’t stay in newborn clothes for very long – but definitely long enough for you to go out and buy whatever floats your boat in terms of “gender specific” clothes when they’re not newborns (which I’m not a fan of to begin with.  I think dressing little girls in all pink is a little twee).  Furthermore, I’m SUCH a planner, that I want to get all the “big stuff” like strollers, carseats, nursery furniture, in gender neutral colors anyway because we’re planning on having more than one Muppet!


As for my anatomy scan, we’re operating under the “no news is good news” philosophy and will get the results on Monday at my next appointment.  Muppet was less than cooperative during the scan, refusing to move about so we could get a good shot of his spine.  Which meant I got to do some laps around the lab in the hope of getting someone interested in play time.  No luck.  The tech showed us Muppet, head down by my hip, legs up in the air, feet crossed, like Muppet was just chilling on the couch.  The only thing that would have made the picture more perfect is if Muppet’s little arms were crossed behind Muppet’s little head.  Luckily, the tech’s last appointment of the day had canceled, so she sent us out on a sugar run.  We headed out and got some coke (the kind you drink, not the kind that goes up your nose – my coworker told me that might cause a placental abruption) and 20 minutes later headed back.  This time was a success and we were able to get the spine shots we needed.

I was almost equally uncooperative.  I was lying on my back during the ultrasound and while I was fine when the tech was scanning my lower abdomen, when she moved above my belly button the pressure got a little much for me.  I thought I could grin and bear it, but I quickly realized that was not going to be the case.  “Ummm I’m getting really light headed and nauseous – does that mean anything?”  She had me sit up.  And that’s when things started spinning.  “Okay, now I think I’m about to pass out.”  She asked if I’d be able to lie on my side – which seemed like a really good idea.  She was able to continue the rest of the ultrasound having me shift from side to side.  The verdict was too much pressure on my IVC (inferior vena cava – the massive vein that carries blood between the lower half of the body and the heart).  Luckily things were better from there.  As we were leaving I asked if the results would be ready by my next appointment and the tech assured me they would be.  I asked her if they would contact me before my appointment if something was wrong and she seemed pretty confident that my doctor would alert me immediately if there were any problems, but she didn’t believe we had anything to worry about.  And of course, we got plenty of souvenirs from the visit!

 

Total weight gain/loss: +2

Next Appointment: Monday, May 23
Maternity clothes? We're getting there!  I realized on Friday that my shirt was officially too short.  I have a couple shirts that are still long enough to wear, but I sucked it up on Monday and headed to Gap to pick up some of my favorite t-shirts in maternity. And while I was there, grabbed a perfect work dress.  I haven't worn any of them yet, but anticipate breaking them out next week.
Stretch marks: nada.
Sleep: Still patchy.
Best moment this week: I stood up the other night and noticed my entire bump was shifted to the right.  Which looked ridiculous, but made me feel like there's really something living in there.
Movement: Yes.  I think I even got some kicks yesterday!
Food cravings: Nothing

Food aversions: Nothing
Gender: Tell you in October!
Belly Button in or out: in
What I miss: This week it's wine.  Since I went wine tasting with my friends this weekend, or rather, wine watching.

What I am looking forward to: More regular kicking and the anatomy scan results.

Contractions: Nope. 
Milestones:
- Successful (?!) Anatomy Scan

- First kicks?

And since I LOVE progress pics here are my four week intervals - I'll try to do this every four weeks. Between weeks 4 and 8 the bloat set in, but went down between weeks weeks 8 and 12, and the belly finally starts getting more round between weeks 16 and 20.

18 weeks, 2 days

Not much to talk about this week.  I started getting sick on Thursday of last week.  This cough thing that appears to be going around the entire town.  I thought it started with one of my coworkers, but apparently J's entire office has it too.  And in the elevator on Monday it appears both the 9th and 10th floor of my building are also infected.

The coughing and congestion makes it difficult for me to eat or drink, so I've had to be especially vigilant about making sure I eat, even when I'm not hungry, and reminding myself to drink a ton.  I've been making smoothies for breakfast for some extra hydration.


I mentioned that I've started showing, but I'm still not gaining any weight, which makes me actually feel like what I'm showing is part of the pregnancy and not just fat.  (Even though I'm convinced that's what it looks like.)  Based on location, I'm going to say the part that's actually popping out is more of my organs since the baby is still decidedly below my belly button.

Anyway - this is what an extra 2 lbs looks like on me:

Week 4 - The Day I got my BFP

Week 18-yesterday

Total weight gain/loss: +2

Next Appointment: Monday, May 9
Maternity clothes? Not yet.  Between you and I, I'm kind of surprised so many people are already wearing maternity clothes. My tops all still fit, and although I can't button my bottoms, they fit fine with the bella band hiding that fact.
Stretch marks: nada.
Sleep: I slept all the way through last night.  It was fantastic.  It was also the only time that's happened this week.
Best moment this week: See above re:sleeping through the night.
Movement: Yes.  Last week my coughing fits had Muppet pounding like an angry neighbor trying to get me to cut it out.  Then Muppet got pretty quite for the majority of this week and J got nervous.  Now that I'm on the mend I'm feeling more movement yesterday and today.
Food cravings: Nothing

Food aversions: Nothing
Gender: Tell you in October!
Belly Button in or out: in
What I miss: Sleep!!!

What I am looking forward to: Anatomy Scan on Tuesday.  I've already started on the "what if they don't find a baby in there" fears again, and I have 4.5 days to go!

Contractions: Nope. 
Milestones:
- Finally everyone at work knows.  The  funny thing about where I work is the first questions weren't "how are you feeling" or "when are you due?"  Instead they were "What hospital will you be delivering at" and "Who's your OB?"