So far in this pregnancy I have been more struck by my lack of these typical pregnancy signs. No morning sickness, no fatigue, no crazy cravings or aversions. This week, however, I’m going to focus on dreams.
One of the hallmarks of pregnancy is vivid, crazy dreams. This might be more noticeable for people who aren’t me. I’ve always had crazy vivid dreams, dreams that I could remember in great detail. My parents used to tell the story that when I was a child I would regale them in the morning with the most detailed, imaginative dreams. When I would finish telling my story, my younger brother would jump in to share his dream. Which always bore a marked similarity to mine. I didn’t realize it, but not everyone remembers their dreams the way I do. And not everyone remembers them in such detail.
I haven’t noticed my dreams to increase in vividness or craziness. I was hoping that I would have dreams of being pregnant, or being a mother, but I had more of them before I was actually pregnant. Like a couple of weeks before when I dreamt that I had triplets, delivered by one of my coworkers. This week however there were two notable exceptions. The first one I think was spurred by the watching of “One Born Every Minute” a show which I will probably dedicate a post to in its entirety one of these weeks when I have nothing new to share.
That night I dreamt that I had gone into labor. I was at the hospital with J when I got really hungry. Somewhere, the two of us had heard that you could make gelato in your…birth canal…to keep it as undisgusting as you possibly can when talking about making ice cream where a baby is supposed to come out. You would pour the ingredients in, and when you started pushing out the baby, out came the gelato too! We decided it was worth a shot and I got into stirrups so J could start pouring in the ingredients. At some point, the nurse came in. I remember her telling us that there was no way this ice cream was going to be ready by the time I was going to have to start pushing. I meanwhile just kept wondering what was going to make the gelato thick, since none of the ingredients were a thickening agent.
My other pregnancy dream wasn’t nearly as funny or strange and took place at the opposite end of the spectrum. I’m sure it has something to do with my lack of typical pregnancy signs and constant anxiety. Our first appointment is this Tuesday. In my dream, J and I were at this appointment and waiting for forever. Someone, I think a nurse practitioner came in and seemed very confused. He told me that I wasn’t supposed to have a cervical exam. I told him that they were supposed to do an internal ultrasound because this was my first visit. He left to go check on that, and never came back. We kept waiting, and waiting, and finally I decided I had to get to work. So I headed out the door as they handed me a manila envelope with documents in it. I opened the envelope when I got to the office. It said that I was no longer pregnant. I stopped reading at that point, so I don’t remember whether it said I had a miscarriage or was never pregnant, or what happened. It made sense that the nurse practitioner was acting so strangely. (Upon awakening though, it didn’t make sense how they knew I wasn’t pregnant since they hadn’t examined me at all.) Shortly thereafter I got a phone call from my mom. J had called her to tell her the news. I remember getting off the phone with her very quickly and going to J’s office. He was there, with the door closed. I went in and he was crying with mascara running down his cheeks. He was far more upset than I was.
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