25 weeks, 1 day

Let's talk about weight gain


Like most women, I definitely suffer from disordered eating.  A lot of it ties into my anxiety disorder.  This means, when I am most stressed, I take it out on my body in very unhealthy ways.  Usually this involves restrictive eating and over-exercising.  Things like fasting all day before dinner.  Or spending 3-4 hours in the gym a day.

I've gotten better at realizing my limitations and working within them.  For instance, I don't keep a scale in the house so I don't get obsessive about numbers.  I force myself to take a break from the gym when I'm sick (this was a HUGE accomplishment for me a couple years back.)  I make myself have a morning snack of fruit.

Pregnancy is obviously a brand new stressor, with brand new worries and anxieties.  I've been really struggling to make sure I don't slip in to disordered behavior, for the good of the baby.  But this becomes pretty hard when you're getting weighed every time you see the doctor.

This has been especially true over the past month.  I managed to gain only 2 lbs during the first 17 weeks, but then jumped up to 9 lbs.  7 lbs in one month?  Talk to anyone with a ED background and they'll agree the mere thought brings about cold sweats.  My doctor agreed that it wasn't ideal, but tried to console me that the baby had probably just experienced a growth spurt, coupled with the increase in blood volume.  J tried to convince me that the weight gain was probably do to the heightened sodium and fat intake we had eaten the previous day at the food truck festival.

But I spent the last 4 weeks cranking it into gear on the fitness front.  I mean, there wasn't much I could do on the eating front since I already don't eat a lot of crap.  I'm not having any cravings for cheeseburgers or ice cream sundaes or anything.  So I increased my mileage on my daily runs, added in 40 minutes of gym time, and started making sure to do my pilates video on a daily basis.

I was doubly concerned for my appointment this week.  First, because I didn't want another month of a large gain, but also because I had my test for Gestational Diabetes this week.  I was worried that the 7lbs was due to GD.  And even though this is NOT what it means, the disordered part of myself can't help but correlate GD with "fat."  It's not true and not healthy, but really that's what this entire post is about right?  In fact, yesterday morning I had to fight off the unhealthy urge to get in one more run before the appointment.  I convinced myself that with the fasting required for the test and the test itself, it would be a bad idea, but at the same time it was a real struggle.

Yesterday's appointment was both comforting and enabling.  I haven't gained a single pound since last month.  Which makes me feel better, but also reinforces the need to continue with my exercise regime.  Kind of a double edged sword there, right?  I also passed the Gestational Diabetes test, based on the fact that I haven't heard otherwise and I was told that I'd hear within 24 hours if I failed.  And I feel pretty confident in that given that I "cheated" on the test accidentally.  I was only supposed to fast for 2 hours, but since the test was first thing in the morning I had actually fasted for closer to 12 hours.  According to the phlebotomist this means that the results would be clear whether I had GD or not without having to resort to the second 3 hour test.


Total weight gain/loss: +9 
Next Appointment: Monday July 18
Maternity clothes? I had to pick up some new tops this week because a lot of my pre-pregnancy tops are starting to get to short.  However, the Target "long and lean" tanks are just perfect because of their length.  I would have grabbed some more of them, but GAP's maternity tanks were cheaper so I went with them instead.  Still wearing pre-pregnancy bottoms though.  And J thinks that the maternity jeans I am in are starting to look a little big for me... 
Stretch marks: nada. 
Sleep: Awful.  I've been getting up with the sun and having a hard time getting back to sleep.
Best moment this week:  Good doctor's appointment AND J feeling the baby for the first time.
Movement: Nonstop, all the time.  Does this kid ever sleep?  And now J can feel it too.
Food cravings: Nothing 
Food aversions: Nothing 
Gender: Tell you in October! 
Belly Button in or out: in but I'm not sure for how much longer. 
What I miss: This week not so much.
What I am looking forward to: Moving next month and being able to start working on the nursery.
Contractions: Nope. 
Milestones:
- Passed the GD test
- J feeling movement.  Oh, did I mention this already?  Seriously I am so happy about this!