21 weeks, 2 days

Let's talk Fibroids.

On Monday at my most recent appointment we got the results back from my big anatomy scan.  The good news?  Muppet is as healthy as can be diagnostically determined!  Everything appears to be in the right number, right location, and working as it should be.  Muppet is right on track in terms of length and weight.

BUT (as you may have guessed from the first sentence) the ultrasound revealed that Muppet isn't the only thing growing in my uterus.  The scan revealed that I have two fibroids on the lower right of my uterus.  This wasn't incredibly surprising or distressing to me.  My mom had issues with fibroids when I was younger, so it made sense to me that they may be an issue for me also.

Depending on what source you look at, between 25% and 75% of all women of child bearing age have fibroids.  Most go undetected because they're symptomless (like mine).  In fact, if I never had an ultrasound, I may have gone my entire life without even knowing.  And there's absolutely no telling how long they've been there.

So what's a fibroid and what does it mean? If you start doing research you'll note that a lot of descriptions of a fibroid is a "benign tumor" which sounds scarier than it really it. A tumor is just when tissue grows in a place it doesn't usually grow.  A fibroid is basically when muscle cells grow where they shouldn't.  Uterine fibroids are when those muscle cells are in/attached to the uterus.

The location of the fibroids plays a large role in both symptoms and potential pregnancy complications.  There are three main types of fibroids, illustrated below:

 The Intramural Fibroids are the most common, forming within the uterine wall.  Depending on their size, they can cause heavy menstrual bleeding and/or pelvic pain.

The Submucosal Fibroids seem to be the most complicating from what I can gather - because they form on the inside of the uterus, they can interfere with implantation and potentially, based on size and location, may lead to an increased risk of preterm labor or miscarriage. Like the Intramural, heavy menstrual bleeding and pelvic pain are also associated with this variety of fibroid.

I've got the Subserosal variety.  This one forms on the outside of the uterus wall.  Because it's on the outside, the main issue here is pelvic pain.  However, if the fibroid is too close to the cervix, it can make vaginal delivery impossible.  It looks like both of mine are high enough where my doctor isn't concerned this will be a problem.

In general, most doctors do not do anything to treat/remove fibroids during pregnancy - more trouble than it's worth.  Although one of mine is on the larger side, it's still too small to "worry about" even if I wasn't pregnant.  According to the Mayo Clinic, most fibroids remain stable in size throughout pregnancy.   My instructions were just to contact my doctor if I started developing pain on my lower right side, where the fibroids are.  And if so, we'll do another ultrasound to do a checksee on what's going on in there.

I'm not trying to downplay fibroids in general - in my mom's case, they were very painful and reoccurring, requiring surgery.  However, I also know the sound of a foreign growth in your body can be a VERY scary concept, and sometimes it's easy to let your imagination run away with you.  So until I start experiencing some complications or pain, I'm not going to worry about the little friends that are keeping Muppet company in there.  Hey - everyone needs friends. 

Total weight gain/loss: +9

Next Appointment: Tuesday, June 21
Maternity clothes? On Saturday I wore my very first maternity outfit - maternity jeans and a maternity shirt.  On Monday I wore all pre-pregnancy clothes.  I can still get away with most of my pre-pregnancy bottoms, it's just the tops that are getting a little short.  So I'm working maternity clothes in little by little. I'm probably going to have a complete GAP Maternity wardrobe by the end of the pregnancy, since I can get most of the clothes I wore pre-pregnancy in maternity wear (like their favorite tees which I live in.)  We're going someplace cold for the weekend, and in packing tonight I realized that pretty much all my sweatshirts and jackets close VERY tightly. Thank goodness for a summer pregnancy!
Stretch marks: nada.
Sleep: It's been okay this weekend at night, still waking up with the sun.
Best moment this week: Hearing Muppet's heartbeat at the doctor this week.  I honestly thought it was mine because it was so loud and strong!  And obviously hearing that everything about Muppet appears to be healthy.
Movement: Fairly regularly.  I told the doctor about what I thought were kicks...and my mom...and my friend L and all of them think I'm crazy.  To me, it feels like my stomach is dropping.  A quick, sudden, jerk.  J thinks it's the baby rolling over, which makes sense, because it does kind of feel like a roll - or a somersault.  Or like a giant bubble expanding and then popping.
Food cravings: Nothing

Food aversions: Nothing
Gender: Tell you in October!
Belly Button in or out: in - but getting shallower.  J thinks my belly button right now is "so cute."
What I miss: After packing tonight I've got to say having a sweatshirt I can wear with clothing underneath it!

What I am looking forward to: Kicks (ones that other people recognize as kicks)

Contractions: Nope. 
Milestones:
- wearing maternity clothes

20 weeks, 2 days

I'm at a very awkward age.  I'm too young to be Generation X, and too old to be Generation Y.  But I can tell you one thing about my generation gap - if the 80s were the Me Generation, my generation should be called the NOW Generation.  If there's one thing I've noticed about pregnancy is that it brings out a ridiculous amount of impatience, which I just don't understand.  Let's start at the beginning.

1) The pregnancy test.  Back in the old days, women actually waited until missed periods before worrying about whether they were pregnant or not.  And then came at home pregnancy tests.  Yay!  Fast results that don't require a blood test or cutting open a rabbit to check out the color of the ovaries.  You would think this would all be well and good, right?  Except it's not.  The complaint then became "but I want to know SOONER" and so more and more tests were developed that were more and more sensitive.  Women are now able to find out if they're pregnant over a week before a missed period.  Which leads to ridiculousness like testing every day between sex and a positive result.  Or finding out so early that women are now ever so aware of what a "chemical pregnancy" is.  A concept that most women didn't understand before these early tests, because most women didn't even know they were pregnant when they had a chemical pregnancy.

2) Maternity Clothes. I swear that the minute some people become pregnant they run out and purchase an entire closet full of maternity clothes. And I’m talking about pregnancy week 6 or 7, you know, when you’re actually about 2 minutes pregnant.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I know that everyone starts showing at different times, second (third and fourth) timers start showing earlier than first time moms, and women who undergo fertility treatments usually have a bit of bloat carried over from before pregnancy.  But even now at my wise old age of 20 weeks, I can pretty much tell you that the clothes that were oh so comfy at 9 weeks probably aren’t going to be quite as comfortable around 29 weeks. So why the rush to jump into maternity wear?  It certainly can’t be because maternity wear is so gosh darn cute.  It’s not.  I’m not a skinny minny to begin with, maternity clothes leave me feeling like perhaps maternity clothes lines double as circus tent material.  The colors are all off and hang off your body like unflattering pillowcase.  (As opposed to flattering pillowcases, which lord knows you just can’t get enough of.)  But I think there’s a part of my generation that thinks – I’m pregnant.  I need maternity clothes NOW.  And then a couple weeks later (evil genius laugh) I’ll just buy MORE!

3) Appointments and the elective ultrasound. Ahhh the burden of technology.  Now that we have it, let’s use it.  Right?  Back when our mothers were having babies they went in when the doctor told them and were lucky to get an ultrasound at some point in their pregnancy.  When I called my doctor to set up my first prenatal appointment I was told the doctor would see me between weeks 8 and 10.  The appointment setter told me the doctor liked to wait that long because there would actually be something to see on the ultrasound and we would be pretty certain to hear a heartbeat by that time.  Makes sense to me.  And then I started seeing all sorts of women complaining that the doctor wouldn’t see them immediately upon discovering they were pregnant (Now! Now! Now!).  Listen ladies, if the doctor doesn’t want to see you immediately, there’s probably a good reason for it.  Like maybe you’re not that high risk?  Maybe there’s nothing to really see?  Maybe, just maybe, like a handful of women who were seen early, you’ll flip out when there’s no heartbeat (because it’s too early) or the baby is measuring really small (because you’re too early.)  Yes, that means you may spend an extra week or two worrying about what’s going on in there, but that’s going to happen anyway if you don’t get to see exactly what you’re expecting.

And of course, there’s the ultrasound.  A diagnostic tool used by professionals to determine the health and wellbeing of a baby.  Not all that different from an x-ray or MRI.  Of course there’s an added benefit of being able to see your very own little monkey moving and grooving in there.  And I am a HUGE fan of getting to see Muppet – especially since 99.9% of the time I have to remind myself I’m pregnant.  But really, ultrasound demand has gotten out of hand.  Between the “fake” visits to the ER just to see the baby again, and using an NT scan for the sole reason of getting in an additional ultrasound, I just feel like maybe women can wait and have a little trust that things are going okay.  You are going to have years of staring at the face of your child.  What’s a couple weeks going to hurt?

4) Mother's Day. And speaking of years of staring at the face of your child, I was beyond shocked to discover that women pregnant with their first child were demanding Mother’s Day presents NOW.  Some women proclaim with glee that they are a mother the instant that sperm hits the egg.  But really?  Other than giving up your favorite alcoholic beverage what have you really done that makes you a mother? Ohhh you’re growing and nurturing something inside you?  So does that mean every time you get the flu you’re also considered a mother?  Because in that case you’re growing and nurturing a virus.  And since they replicate so quickly, you’re probably a grandmother too!  I just don’t understand the need for recognition NOW. Next year, when there’s a real live “outside baby” that you have to feed and clothes in addition to feeding and clothing yourself, when you’re getting up all night for feedings, when you’re covered in vomit and bodily excrement, then we can talk about Mother’s Day.  And you know what, you’ll probably get recognition every year after that too!  Woot woot!

5) Finding Out the Sex. This concept is actually what spurred this diatribe in the first place. Last week, we had our “big ultrasound.”  Also referred to as the anatomy scan, this is where they go over every inch of the baby to make sure everything is functioning as it should be.  All four chambers of the heart are pumping, brain looks good, 2 kidneys present and working, etc. etc. etc.  Because they’re going over every inch, this is also often the time when many parents find out the sex of their child.  Which we chose not to do.  And the thing is – that gets people REALLY upset.  When people tell me they're finding out the sex of their child I say something like "how exciting!"  But when we tell people we're not finding out, they seem to take it ever so personally.  I’ve had people ask if they can call the doctor and find out for themselves.  J’s office has been giving him a hard time for weeks.  Really, what’s the big deal?  We're more than happy to wait - it's what people have been doing for years. Why do you have to know NOW?  At this point, the only thing I really care about is that Muppet is growing and healthy, not whether I need to go buy a baseball bat or a tu-tu.  (Although to be fair, even if we have a girl I have a feeling we may need a baseball bat by the time she’s a teenager to keep the teenage boys in line.)  The comment I get most is “Oh I could never do that – I’m a planner.”  Which doesn’t make any sense to me.  What can’t you plan?  Our parents didn’t know our sex, because finding out sex is a relatively recent development.  And yet I’d be willing to bet everyone still had plenty of clothes to wear, and baby equipment to take care of them.  J and I plan on having the baby sleep in his/her own room from night one, which also makes us “weird” but further emphasizes the point that if your baby is sleeping in your bedroom when you first get home, then you don’t even really need the nursery to be perfectly decorated before you leave for the hospital.  Newborns don’t stay in newborn clothes for very long – but definitely long enough for you to go out and buy whatever floats your boat in terms of “gender specific” clothes when they’re not newborns (which I’m not a fan of to begin with.  I think dressing little girls in all pink is a little twee).  Furthermore, I’m SUCH a planner, that I want to get all the “big stuff” like strollers, carseats, nursery furniture, in gender neutral colors anyway because we’re planning on having more than one Muppet!


As for my anatomy scan, we’re operating under the “no news is good news” philosophy and will get the results on Monday at my next appointment.  Muppet was less than cooperative during the scan, refusing to move about so we could get a good shot of his spine.  Which meant I got to do some laps around the lab in the hope of getting someone interested in play time.  No luck.  The tech showed us Muppet, head down by my hip, legs up in the air, feet crossed, like Muppet was just chilling on the couch.  The only thing that would have made the picture more perfect is if Muppet’s little arms were crossed behind Muppet’s little head.  Luckily, the tech’s last appointment of the day had canceled, so she sent us out on a sugar run.  We headed out and got some coke (the kind you drink, not the kind that goes up your nose – my coworker told me that might cause a placental abruption) and 20 minutes later headed back.  This time was a success and we were able to get the spine shots we needed.

I was almost equally uncooperative.  I was lying on my back during the ultrasound and while I was fine when the tech was scanning my lower abdomen, when she moved above my belly button the pressure got a little much for me.  I thought I could grin and bear it, but I quickly realized that was not going to be the case.  “Ummm I’m getting really light headed and nauseous – does that mean anything?”  She had me sit up.  And that’s when things started spinning.  “Okay, now I think I’m about to pass out.”  She asked if I’d be able to lie on my side – which seemed like a really good idea.  She was able to continue the rest of the ultrasound having me shift from side to side.  The verdict was too much pressure on my IVC (inferior vena cava – the massive vein that carries blood between the lower half of the body and the heart).  Luckily things were better from there.  As we were leaving I asked if the results would be ready by my next appointment and the tech assured me they would be.  I asked her if they would contact me before my appointment if something was wrong and she seemed pretty confident that my doctor would alert me immediately if there were any problems, but she didn’t believe we had anything to worry about.  And of course, we got plenty of souvenirs from the visit!

 

Total weight gain/loss: +2

Next Appointment: Monday, May 23
Maternity clothes? We're getting there!  I realized on Friday that my shirt was officially too short.  I have a couple shirts that are still long enough to wear, but I sucked it up on Monday and headed to Gap to pick up some of my favorite t-shirts in maternity. And while I was there, grabbed a perfect work dress.  I haven't worn any of them yet, but anticipate breaking them out next week.
Stretch marks: nada.
Sleep: Still patchy.
Best moment this week: I stood up the other night and noticed my entire bump was shifted to the right.  Which looked ridiculous, but made me feel like there's really something living in there.
Movement: Yes.  I think I even got some kicks yesterday!
Food cravings: Nothing

Food aversions: Nothing
Gender: Tell you in October!
Belly Button in or out: in
What I miss: This week it's wine.  Since I went wine tasting with my friends this weekend, or rather, wine watching.

What I am looking forward to: More regular kicking and the anatomy scan results.

Contractions: Nope. 
Milestones:
- Successful (?!) Anatomy Scan

- First kicks?

And since I LOVE progress pics here are my four week intervals - I'll try to do this every four weeks. Between weeks 4 and 8 the bloat set in, but went down between weeks weeks 8 and 12, and the belly finally starts getting more round between weeks 16 and 20.

18 weeks, 2 days

Not much to talk about this week.  I started getting sick on Thursday of last week.  This cough thing that appears to be going around the entire town.  I thought it started with one of my coworkers, but apparently J's entire office has it too.  And in the elevator on Monday it appears both the 9th and 10th floor of my building are also infected.

The coughing and congestion makes it difficult for me to eat or drink, so I've had to be especially vigilant about making sure I eat, even when I'm not hungry, and reminding myself to drink a ton.  I've been making smoothies for breakfast for some extra hydration.


I mentioned that I've started showing, but I'm still not gaining any weight, which makes me actually feel like what I'm showing is part of the pregnancy and not just fat.  (Even though I'm convinced that's what it looks like.)  Based on location, I'm going to say the part that's actually popping out is more of my organs since the baby is still decidedly below my belly button.

Anyway - this is what an extra 2 lbs looks like on me:

Week 4 - The Day I got my BFP

Week 18-yesterday

Total weight gain/loss: +2

Next Appointment: Monday, May 9
Maternity clothes? Not yet.  Between you and I, I'm kind of surprised so many people are already wearing maternity clothes. My tops all still fit, and although I can't button my bottoms, they fit fine with the bella band hiding that fact.
Stretch marks: nada.
Sleep: I slept all the way through last night.  It was fantastic.  It was also the only time that's happened this week.
Best moment this week: See above re:sleeping through the night.
Movement: Yes.  Last week my coughing fits had Muppet pounding like an angry neighbor trying to get me to cut it out.  Then Muppet got pretty quite for the majority of this week and J got nervous.  Now that I'm on the mend I'm feeling more movement yesterday and today.
Food cravings: Nothing

Food aversions: Nothing
Gender: Tell you in October!
Belly Button in or out: in
What I miss: Sleep!!!

What I am looking forward to: Anatomy Scan on Tuesday.  I've already started on the "what if they don't find a baby in there" fears again, and I have 4.5 days to go!

Contractions: Nope. 
Milestones:
- Finally everyone at work knows.  The  funny thing about where I work is the first questions weren't "how are you feeling" or "when are you due?"  Instead they were "What hospital will you be delivering at" and "Who's your OB?"

17 weeks, 1 day

Two big updates this week.

1)      Completely survived a weekend with the inlaws!

It was just as terrible as I expected it to be.  (Thank goodness I’m still running so I could get away for an hour on Saturday) My pre-pregnancy gripes have doubled since becoming pregnant.  J’s parents are definitely the most inconsiderate people I’ve ever met which majorly affects me (and Muppet) now. 

First, there are 2 bathrooms in the house.  BUT the two of them can’t share a bathroom, even when guests are over.  Which means, when this pregnant lady has to go to the bathroom in the morning, I either have to hold it for an hour, or go outside in the bushes because both bathrooms are in use. 

Those of you used to eating nonstop because there is something growing inside of you?  Don’t visit my inlaws.  Father-in-law shops every day, but only for enough food for dinner that night.  That means there’s nothing to eat in their house.  Those grapes on the counter?  DON’T TOUCH THEM!  THEY’RE FOR THE SALAD!  I kid you not, at one point I was eating a lemon – not because of a craving, but because my Mother-in-law had some extra from the pie she was baking and I NEEDED FOOD!

The worst part of the trip, was telling them we wouldn’t be up for Christmas.  Every year we take time off work, drive 6-8 hours up to them, only to be ignored for the entire time.  (This year they asked J why he was staying so long.)  Anything Christmas related is planned by us, because otherwise we spend the entire time sitting in silence in the house contemplating our belly buttons.  (Father in law doesn’t like noise because he “likes to think.”)  J was nervous they’d be upset we’re not coming up.  They weren’t.  He told them we wouldn’t be making the trip with a 2 month old, but were hoping that maybe they’d come down and spend Christmas with us.  My mother-in-law didn’t seem thrilled with the idea.  “We’ll see” she told him.  Then I overheard her complaining about it to someone at the Easter potluck we went to.  So what’s the hold up?  J is blaming the fact that his parents are old and the trip will be difficult for them.  I’m not buying it because they’re going to Hawaii with friends in September – which is a much longer trip than the hour plane trip to see us.  Maybe it’s because they want to spend it with their other grandkids (who live next door)? Nope, can’t be that either.  J’s brother is ecstatic at the idea of coming down to spend Christmas with us because then he doesn’t have to worry about hosting anything.  Well, it must be the time off work, then, right?  Nope – father in law doesn’t work and mother in law already took the week off.  So basically it would seem that they just don’t really want to spend Christmas with us.  Poor J – but yay for me!

2)      My 17 week appointment!

I know.  I have a weird appointment schedule.  It has to do with having my first appointment at 9 weeks, so everything is based on 4/8 weeks after that.  I still get really nervous before appointments.  I don’t spend too much time worrying between them, but for some reason the day before, I start getting nervous that this is the appointment there’ll be something wrong.  But this one was perfect.  Perfect (note the capital P).  My weight and blood pressure were exactly spot on.  Muppet’s heartbeat is strong and healthy in the high 150s/low 160s.  I got the okay to run a half marathon in January.  I had a feeling it would be okay, but just wanted to make sure I wasn’t completely unrealistic in my goals.

Maybe the best part of the appointment was checking Muppet’s heartbeat.  I don’t feel movement incredibly often.  I’ve had two definite “Woah, did I swallow a fish?” moments, but other times I’m just not positive if that tickle is Muppet or my clothes brushing against me.  But whatever it is, all but once the feeling has been on my left side.  Which is, coincidently also where I feel the most pressure when I feel pressure.   That’s a long backstory, but there’s a point.  When the NP went to place the Doppler on my abdomen, she placed it smack dab in the middle, and …….nothing.  J started getting nervous.  I said to her “I know it sounds silly, but I think the baby hangs out on my left side.” She moved the Doppler a couple inches to my left, and…voila, that familiar whoosh whoosh sound.  Which was even better than just hearing the heart because it made me feel like I really am feeling something AND that maybe I’m a little more connected with Muppet than I feel.

Total weight gain/loss: +2

Next Appointment: Monday, May 9
Maternity clothes? I got a maternity dress for Easter since we’d be out of town and I didn’t know what would fit me, but it wasn’t really necessary.  Still wearing my regular stuff every day.
Stretch marks: nada.
Sleep: More bad than good.  Have had 2 good nights of sleep this week.  For those of you doing the math, that make 5 nights of tossing, turning, and waking up unable to fall back asleep.
Best moment this week: An amazing appointment.  What could have gone better?
Movement: Definitely.  Just not often or consistently. 
Food cravings: Nothing

Food aversions: Nothing
Gender: Tell you in October!
Belly Button in or out: in
What I miss: Sleep!!!

What I am looking forward to: More movement, and I think I’ll breathe a pretty heavy sigh of relief after the anatomy scan in 2 weeks.

Contractions: Nope.  Talked to the NP about those last ones and she’s fairly certain it was related to something I ate and not baby at all.
Milestones:
- Movement

16 weeks, 1 day

Well we are almost officially completely out.  All of my friends know I’m pregnant.  For some odd reason, J still hasn’t told any of his friends, except his two closest.  He was much more eager to tell his coworkers.  So they all know.  And of course, now everyone has advice for him.  Including the fact that they all want to know the sex.  Seems to be a recurrent trend.  We’re going to have a lot of disappointed friends.  As for me, I’m still keeping it quiet at work.  Yesterday one of my coworkers came in to tell me he was leaving.  We talked about how it might increase my caseload and I confided in him that I think they’re hesitant to send me new cases at this point because I’m pregnant.  He was shocked.  But supportive.  Later yesterday I told the receptionist when we had a similar conversation.  It’s weird now that some people know and some don’t.  Part of me thinks that probably everyone knows now, and is just waiting till I tell them.  My office is fairly gossipy like that.

I also “came out” online – via my blog and the internet message boards I post on.  Nothing to flashy and showy, it’s not my style.  The whole “announcing” thing is just very awkward in general for me.

So that’s what’s going on outside, let’s move to what’s going on inside:

1)      I may have started feeling movement.  I can’t really tell.  The first feeling was in the middle of the night.  J had got up to go to the bathroom, and I felt like a kickflip inside of me.  I wasn’t sure if it was real, or if I was even awake.  That was the most drastic.  Since then, there have been little fish like tickling if I lie very still…sometimes.  If I concentrate on them, they go away. Once when I was standing and talking to J I told him it’s hard to realize there’s something growing inside me since I don’t see or feel any different.  I told Muppet it would be helpful if there was some movement, and I started getting the flutters again!  Maybe.  It’s hard to tell if it’s internal or not, it’s so faint it’s like a breeze blowing across my stomach.

2)      Now that Muppet has working ears, J and I have started reading to the belly each night.  We’re currently reading “Cricket in Times Square” because J had never read it as a child.  We take turns with the different chapters.  We’re almost done though, so now I need to figure out if we read the next book in the series or move on to something completely different.

3)      I definitely started showing.  And it’s not the same place as my bloat, although it’s higher than my uterus.  I’m thinking it’s probably the organs all moving up and out, but still.  I went from nothing (well – never nothing.  I think there may have been one day in 1995 my stomach was completely flat) to a round belly literally over the span of a day.  I stood up from my desk after work one day, and there it was.  Which makes things interesting at work since I’m trying to keep it quiet.  I find myself carrying things in front of my belly like characters on tv trying to hide their pregnancy.  Personally, I still find myself feeling “fat looking” and not “pregnant.”  J has been fantastic at telling me (without prompting) that I don’t look fat at all – definitely pregnant, no mistake. Which makes me feel better, even if I’m not convinced. 

Total weight gain/loss: +2

Next Appointment: Tuesday, April 26
Maternity clothes? Not yet.  Sticking it out with the bella band.
Stretch marks: nada.
Sleep: Good nights and bad nights.  Last night I slept all the way through, but the night before I didn’t sleep at all.
Best moment this week: Telling Muppet to move around, and then maybe feeling movement?
Movement: Maybe? 
Food cravings: Nothing

Food aversions: Nothing
Gender: Tell you in October!
Belly Button in or out: in
What I miss: My Friday night glasses of wine.  Being able to run a 10 minute mile without huffing and puffing.

What I am looking forward to: Real honest to goodness movement.

Contractions: Maybe?  But WAY too high, so maybe not.  I was walking and got really tight across my upper abdomen.  This was back when the only pregnant part of me was right above my pubic bone, about 6 inches lower.  I have no idea if this was a BH or not because the location was all off.
Milestones:
- Being out in the open – almost

- starting to show

14 weeks, 2 days

This is another one of those in betweener weeks.  Not much new to share unfortunately.  I swear this pregnancy is one of those “hurry and wait” situations.  There is so much time when there is nothing going on.  No appointments, no symptoms, no movement, no sleep!  And apparently no sleep makes me more of a cranky bitch than I already am.  It’s hard to believe but J has literally said to me he hopes I start getting some good sleep.  And the crankiness isn’t even aimed at him!

I told a couple of my closest friends last weekend.  Which was good, and awkward.  I really hate telling people – I mean, I love them knowing, but I just don’t know what to say after I tell them I’m pregnant and there’s that beat where they’re processing it.  Or how to work it into a conversation.  I also told my boss and the senior associate at work.  There’s something interesting about the shock that comes after the statement.  No one seems to have guessed.  Part of me loves that, the fact that no one had a clue.  Part of me feels like that makes the whole thing surreal.  I mean, I get it, I don’t necessarily “look pregnant.”  I’m not really showing. And aside from the fact I’m the sober sister at dinner not much has changed.  But I have this fear that now that people know things are going to go wrong.  And most days I don’t really “feel pregnant” so having people be so surprised sometimes makes me second guess myself. 

Total weight gain/loss: +2

Next Appointment: Tuesday, April 26
Maternity clothes? Not yet.  Sticking it out with the bella band.
Stretch marks: nada.
Sleep: Back to waking up all night throughout the night.  Last week was a tease.
Best moment this week: Having the Senior Associate hug me when she found out.  I was not expecting a positive reaction from her at all.
Movement: Only my own.
Food cravings: Nothing

Food aversions: Nothing
Gender: Tell you in October!
Belly Button in or out: in
What I miss: My Friday night glasses of wine.  Being able to run a 10 minute mile without huffing and puffing.

What I am looking forward to: Telling some of my besties this weekend!

Contractions: Yee gods I hope not!
Milestones:
- Telling my boss and superiors at work.

13 weeks 3 days

Officially the second trimester, no matter how you count it!

So the weekend trip went well.  In terms of shopping, clothing was a bit of a disappointment, though I did manage to pick up a couple of skirts which will fit nicely under my bump whenever it gets high enough so that wearing a skirt below it isn’t obscene. 

AND I got my beloved diaper bag!  Yay!  Or rather, my mom got it for me.  I talked her out of buying clothes for the baby at a boutique, but couldn’t say no when she offered to get something for me.  I’m already a selfish mother.

Monday we went in for my first prenatal visit with my OB/GYN.  I’ve been seeing her for years, so she was so excited for me.  And she got to meet J.  She gave him a look – “How tall are you?”  and then predicted we would be having a very long baby.  I told her I was hoping it wouldn’t be a big baby too, and she said babies tend to take after their mothers.  Under 7lbs, here we come!!!!!  And she also thinks it’s completely possible that muppet could be late and make his/her arrival on October 7.

She warned me that since muppet is still small, it might take her a while to find the heartbeat with the Doppler.  Nope.  That bugger started pounding just as soon as she laid it to my skin.  My muppet is ever so cooperative.  She told me it was fast, strong, and healthy.

Wednesday I had my bloodwork done.  I was not looking forward to this due to my INTENSE FEAR OF NEEDLES.  I told the phlebotomist about my fear and that I would probably cry.  He shouldn’t take it personally.  7 vials of blood later,  (7!!!!!) and I only cried a little bit.  I had my eyes closed the whole time and the phlebotomist coached me on “almost done”  “just one vial left.”

Later that day I had my first “real pregnant girl” experience.  J was driving us home from work, when all of a sudden, I knew I was going to be sick.  I started searching frantically around the car for a bag of some sort.  Thank goodness I had brought cookies into work and had one left in an oversized ziplock.  Sorry solitary cookie, you were sacrificed for the greater good.  It’s the first (and so far only) time I have thrown up during this pregnancy.  In the car, on the freeway, while J was driving.  My mom thinks it probably had more to do with how stressed I was about the scary needles, but I still feel like I have finally joined the club.

Now that we have officially reached the second trimester, I’ve begun telling all my friends.  I freaked out my friend M on Monday.  Yesterday I emailed some other friends, including one who is on the same month board as me.  She was shocked.  Which must mean my incognito skills are incredible.  I should probably apply to be the next Mata Hari.  Tonight I tell one of my best friends, and tomorrow I tell another.  Sunday I’ll call my friend who lives on the other side of the world (or Washington D.C.).

Total weight gain/loss: +2

Next Appointment: Tuesday, April 26
Maternity clothes? Not yet.  Sticking it out with the bella band.
Stretch marks: nada.
Sleep: I had 2 nights of good, uninterrupted sleep this week.  Which is twice as many as I have had since January!
Best moment this week: At our appointment Monday when the doctor found the heartbeat and said “the baby’s still alive!”  She was joking with me because I told her I worry between appointments.
Movement: Only my own.
Food cravings: Nothing

Food aversions: Nothing
Gender: Tell you in October!
Belly Button in or out: in – although J says it’s getting shallower.  Yes, we are those people who stick our fingers in the other person’s belly button.
What I miss: My Friday night glasses of wine.  Being able to run a 10 minute mile without huffing and puffing.

What I am looking forward to: Telling some of my besties this weekend!

Contractions: Yee gods I hope not!
Milestones:
- Hearing the heartbeat again.
- Getting my blood work done and out of the way.

- Telling HR at work.  Now all that’s left is my boss and my coworkers. (Yipes!)

- Throwing up.  Does this one count? It makes me feel pretty official.